I’d Forgotten How Badass I Was, Until These Two Messages Reminded Me

When You Need a Reminder of Who You Are - This Is What Happens When People Don’t Forget

Hey there!

If you're here, that means you either liked what you read, accidentally clicked a link, or (my personal favorite) you're looking for creative sanity in a world that’s not helping. I’m Urmila, writer, artist, educator, accidental IT professional, certified yogi, and full-time believer that creativity is for everyone.

☕ Teacups and Tiny Victories ✌

This Substack is my love letter to slow growth, messy beginnings, and the magic that happens when we show up as ourselves, even when we’re still figuring things out. If this piece gave you even a tiny spark of joy or clarity, I’d love it if you bought me a coffee.

Thank you for being here - for reading, reflecting, and showing up with such beautiful humanity. You make this all worth it. 💛

Now, let’s dive in…

I’d Forgotten How Badass I Was, Until These Two Messages Reminded Me

We all go through those days where imposter syndrome hits us like a laxative induced shitstorm. I have written an article to combat it, too.

But some days really make you question your identity.

You wake up not knowing if you're still the person you thought you were. The one who dares. Who builds. Who leads. Who inspires.

Identity can be fragile when it’s tied to what’s happening outside of us, job titles, relationships, validation, likes, and rejections.

And on one of those days, when I was spiralling in self-doubt, feeling stuck in transition, and questioning my creative fire, something unexpected happened.
I got a notification that someone had joined my group, Unboxed Collective. A group for the childfree by choice.

The reason I formed this group was when I lost the last of my friends to parenthood. Now my girls’ gang meetup includes underage kids competing for attention, space, and sanity. The last straw for me was when they started discussing poop textures. That was my cue to exit that chat mentally.

Coming back to this notification, I clicked on her profile.

She had mutuals with me. A lot of them. And then it hit me, she was one of my ex-students from my university teaching days.

It was a different feeling to see her as a grown woman with similar choices, and we got talking. And she sent me this message.

It was so refreshing to read about a past identity of myself that I had lost in my experiences here in Hong Kong. Because lately, I’ve been second-guessing everything. Second-guessing whether I’m still the fearless leader I once was. Whether I’ve lost my edge. My fire. My badassery.

Hong Kong has polished me into a diamond, but I’d forgotten what a sharp cut I used to be.

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💬 Then came another message..

From a former colleague, someone I worked with during my corporate life, back when I was known for speaking truth to power, for pushing boundaries, and for walking away from stability to follow my gut.

If only I could share the screenshot of my resignation letter when I left my corporate job, you would know what a cannonball I was. Now I think 100 times before hitting that send button. So when I saw this message from my ex-colleague, I hadn’t seen myself like that in years.

🧊 Identity Isn’t Static — It’s a Library

Our identity isn’t a single version of ourselves. It’s a library of who we used to be and who we want to be.

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🔁 What Hasn’t Changed?

Even though I think twice before hitting send these days, I’ve grown in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I’ve learned how to shine without burning myself out.

I’ve learned how to pivot harder, faster, and with more grace.

I’ve learned how to use my creativity not just to survive, but to lead, to heal, and to help others do the same.

So yes, I may have softened, but I haven’t lost my fire.

I’ve just learned how to carry it differently.

Sometimes, we forget the chapters we wrote earlier.

But others remember.

They remember the version of you who inspired them. The one who led without permission. The one who showed up even when they weren’t sure.
And sometimes, all it takes is a message from someone else to remind you who you really are.

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💌 A Gentle Reminder for You

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from these messages, it’s this:

Never underestimate the impact you’ve had on someone else’s life.

And never dismiss the version of yourself that once lit fires in others because that version is still part of who you are.

So if you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt doubt about your own power, reach out to someone from your past. Or present. Let them know how they impacted you.

It might just be what they needed to hear today.

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🎁 BONUS: Ready to Reignite Your Creative Voice?

If this journey felt meaningful and you’re curious about reclaiming more of your creative confidence, I’d love to support you.

👉 Drop me a DM to talk about working together as your creativity coach

Let’s turn your remembered greatness into your lived reality.

badass mode activated:)

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🧭 The Mirror Project

A Guided Set of Prompts to Rediscover the Version of You Others Still Remember

“Sometimes, all it takes is a message from someone else to remind you who you really are.”

These prompts are your invitation to pause, reflect, and reconnect with the version of yourself that others still carry in their hearts, even if you’ve forgotten that version of you.

Use this space to draw, write, doodle, and explore. There’s no wrong way to do this. Just honest reflection.