Is Writing My First Book a Trauma Response or a Purpose Tour?

This is such a special Monday as I write my first paid article after a year of building this little community. Support comes in so many ways, but some are more special given how rare they can be in this din of distractions we exist in. Forever grateful to my first yearly paid subscriber

Varun Tyagi

and my second yearly paid subscriber

Megh

! This day will always be a core memory, thanks to you:)

urmimenon

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Writing a book all by yourself from scratch is no small feat—especially in an age of competing distractions, influencers churning out books like hotcakes, and AI tools threatening to "rape the sanctity of the writing process" (yes, it feels that dramatic sometimes). But here I am, buckling down this year to crack open my story. Why?

After years of stashing away my dreams and distracting myself with other forms of expression—art, videos, you name it—I finally stumbled upon what Mark Manson calls “your favorite flavor of a shit sandwich.” For those unfamiliar, this concept asks: What are you so passionate about that you’re willing to endure the most disagreeable parts of the work?

For me, the answer pointed toward writing. It wasn’t without its share of questions and constraints—but hey, even the best plots come with conflict, right?

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How This Preposterous Question Led Me to My Purpose

Mark Manson explains that finding your purpose isn’t just about passion but also endurance. What can you stick with, even when it gets messy? My chosen mediums are writing, making videos, and creating art. Out of these, writing comes effortlessly—the least friction, the most flow.

It’s how I convey my truth after a fight or pitch to a client. Words have always been my voice, loud and clear. The “shit” part of this sandwich? Rework. Revision or maybe rejection. Living with imperfection. And let me tell you, giving up on perfectionism has been HARD. But I’m learning—to be disciplined yet forgiving, to embrace being a “half-assed” writer who shows up consistently instead of waiting for perfection.

Choosing to write this book as my misogi (a Japanese term for a daunting personal challenge) for 2025 wasn’t easy. Because honestly, I still haven’t found a book that speaks directly to me: a South Asian, South Indian woman from humble beginnings with big creative dreams. Each descriptor carries weight—almost like it’s color-coded.

There have been countless moments over the past seven years living outside my country where I scoured libraries and bookshops, searching for something to soothe my open wounds. Toni Morrison said it best: "If you find a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." So that’s exactly what I’m doing.

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The Themes & Title of My Book

This book is a creative non-fiction memoir revolving around three core themes:

• Creativity: How imagination became both my escape and my anchor.

• Identity: Wrestling with the tangled threads of who I am versus who I was told to be.

• Racism: Navigating the subtle and not-so-subtle ways society tries to dim our light.

These three forces morphed into the person I am today—a journey of breaking free, finding authenticity, and celebrating resilience.

And now, drumroll please… 🥁The title of my book is:
[Exclusive to Paid Subscribers]

Thank you for being part of this journey. Whether you choose to stay as a free reader or upgrade to paid, know that your support means everything to me.