Socializing, Simplified: A Cheat Sheet for Selective Extroverts
Tried and tested hacks to maximise your social currency
“Aah, can’t! I have an early morning tomorrow.” “ Oh! that’s short notice, I need at least a 2-week heads-up to make it.” Why did I say yes to this?”Sounds familiar? This was me until this October.
Here's the thing: my introverted tendencies often stemmed from past experiences. Maybe I felt ignored, judged, or simply unsure of my "value" at the event. And come October I flipped a couple of switches and this October has been the most social month I have had in my recent past. Am I feeling burnt out? No. Is my social battery out, also no. So what changed?
Now, before you picture me as some social butterfly flitting from event to event, let me clarify: I'm a selective extrovert. I crave connection but in small doses. So, how did I manage to have my most social month ever without feeling drained? Here's the secret: I hacked the system.
Dress for Confidence, Not Just the Occasion: It’s like you wrapping a gift. Just makes the gift more presentable. But if the gift has no value then it’s all a farce which will be discovered sooner or later.
Fly solo- that way you a more likely to talk to new people than stick in your corner with your event bestie.
Be approachable- Think warm smile and open body language. If you go to an event and don’t know anyone there, walk around the place. Take photos and videos of the venue. Have a smile which gives an impression of openness. Go around the drinks area/ food area. These are prime locations for striking up conversations.
Connect with the host or speaker. They're invested in the event and genuinely care about the event and the experience. Bonus points if you catch them before they're swamped.
Front Row = Friend Zone: Sitting near the front reduces the barrier to speaking up during discussions. Plus, it shows active engagement with the speaker, who might even make eye contact with you – a subtle connection builder!
Graze, don't cling. Mingle, and meet new people, but don't feel pressured to stick with the first group you click with. Keep talking to new people until you find your "grassland" – those who share your vibe. Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to making and maintaining connections.
Emphasize self-worth: If someone makes you feel unwelcome or ignored, that’s a reflection of them. It has nothing to do with your self-worth. Life's too short to deal with people who stink up the pond. Swim away and find a better company!
Exit on a High Note: Before you disappear into the night, connect with the people who made an impact on you. Let them know you enjoyed their company. Sharing event photos with your new connections and giving genuine generous shoutouts solidifies these bonds.
These are some tried and tested hacks for you to try the next time you make it to an event and want to make it worth your time. It’s fine if you just want to be a wallflower and experience the event. But for those "selective extroverts" who see events as investments, these tips can help you maximize your social currency.
Let me know if you try any of these or if you have any tips to add!
