I had lots more to say but didn't know where to start! I nodded all the way through this post and it's really helpful to see someone else have these experiences.
I'm 51 and still figuring out myself and what to do in life but have come a long way since I left a stressful job (which led me to burnout) and could make time to work on myself and my thinking.
Oh Susanne. These toxic jobs really sap u out leaving a shell of a person. Thanks for sharing ur journey . We are all in this together. Wiping each others tears and putting a smile on each others face❤️
In Anam Cara, John O’Donohue writes that each person carries an “infinite longing,” an “empty space” within, but this space is not a flaw.
It is not meant to be filled with possessions, achievements, or even other people.
It exists so that the mystery of being can move through us, so that we remain open to wonder, connection, and spirit.
Sometimes the tension and restlessness we feel isn’t a problem to solve, but an invitation to listen to that deep space inside, the part of us that was never broken, never lost, just waiting to be honored.
Oh wow! Thank you Jose for sharing your wisdom. I feel like I know it but at times going through it is challenging in the moment.
The more it happens, the more I am realising that it’s something on the inside that will be the answer. But it takes me a while to realise it and stay in the realisation.
Wonderful article, Urmila. I think anyone who is active on social media falls into the comparison trap at some point. I think it’s because you know your ENTIRE story, but due to social media, you only see everyone else’s highlights. If all you see is the highlights (and even those can be easily faked) then it’s easy to feel like you aren’t measuring up.
The thing is, writing posts like this makes you far more accessible. I suspect almost all of those ‘highlight’ posts bragging about the latest life accomplishment won’t get a tenth of the engagement this post of yours gets.
Because you are being real, and we are drawn to what’s real in this world. Thanks for sharing, my friend!
Definitely! There are always two sides to a coin. But there is very less representation of curiosity of purpose from people in their late 30s n later. And those who talk of it are so depressing 😅. I agree, real over reel any day! As always grateful for your engagement.
Ahhhh, very resonant Urmila! I can really relate to not being bound by 'traditional' career paths; my entire career has been one massive zigzag!
There's an article I wrote ages ago over on LinkedIn (that I really should re-publish on Substack) in which I reflect on the idea of 'finding purpose', especially as 'purpose' is something that's talked about so much these days. That one 'thing' we're all supposed to do.
But in my reflection, I came to this realisation: The operative word is FINDING. Once I've found a purpose, that doesn't mean I stop. It's just the right thing for where I am at the time. But it's the very act of continuing to be in a state of 'finding' that helps me grow and evolve as a person.
However, the shadow side of that is the very real possibility that we could get lost too. This is something I'm planning on publishing in my next article, so would love to get your thoughts when it's out!
Amazing! I know I did the right thing when I hit that subscribe button for your publication. I have gone through so many waves on this topic that I can’t wait to read what you post next on it!
On a different note, writing on LinkedIn, what’s been your personal experience. I despise that platform with every cell of my body but my growth mindset is ready to double take and open to your experience and perspective on it!
Mmm, it's better than X but worse than Substack, is where I would put it, especially for quality content. However, a couple of things:
1) LinkedIn articles suuuuuck in terms of reach. They have just historically not performed well for me, like at all. I only publish an article there on rare occasions for visibility purposes... but they don't get far at all.
2) So my LinkedIn heuristic is basically to think of it as Substack Notes. However, there are a bunch of nuances. I tend to find 2 types of posts 'do well':
- The usual 'controversial hot takes and mic drops' that seem to attract generic replies
- Carousels or heavily detailed pictures (because the algorithm appears to reward 'dwell time' and how long someone spends looking at your post)
- Or the 'secret' 3rd type of post which is people who use engagement pods to turbocharge engagement
- Or of course, you can do the same thing that some writers on Substack do, which is write about how to grow on LinkedIn 🥴
3) Like Substack, you also have to 'meaningfully engage' to be 'rewarded' by the algorithm
BUT... it is still a much larger audience than Substack, and it is centred around helping you build a personal brand these days. I have people who do reach out to me and - without having liked or commented on my posts - all say that they 'see me' all over their LinkedIn, so I guess that's a good thing?
Wow! Thank you so much for detailing it out. Impressed with how well you can analyse social media platforms in general. Guess I asked the right guy for it.
Controversial stuff would do well anyway but my personal ick are those ‘how to growwwwwwww’ ones. I have seen so much of it that I want to stay stunted💀.
LinkedIn for me is a post and ghost platform but so was Substack a few weeks back until I found like minded people here.
It is a I scratch ur back n you scratch mine world definitely which depletes the word engagement to a ping pong match.
Of course ! Any recognition is good recognition! Thanks for sharing this✨
Haha, I'm by no means an expert. But yeah, I am continuing to explore and experiment. I really do not want to be a 'cringe-fluencer' but I equally understand why it works. So the challenge is always that balance of being authentic... whilst also understanding why people (including us) might be drawn to particular posts.
But meaningful engagement is still for sure a really important strategy. Not commenting for the sake of commenting, but to genuinely engage. It's how I connected with people like Neela and Mack Collier.
When I say like minded people I am talking about Frey, Mack, Neela , that’s the order in which I met them and I am glad I did. That’s what’s made me stick to Substack recently. Balance is key and challenging for sure.
As I think, there are so many of us in different situations and paths and in their point in lives that it’s very difficult to generalize life situations but I am sure that most of us relate to your article in one way or the other or have been in similar situations at some point. What makes it a good read is your candid point of view and how you are dealing with it. I’m sure some would even find it inspiring or take a lesson out of it.
Keep sharing.. you never know how or in what ways it’s helping your readers.
Thank you being there in all stages of life and writing and everything in between. Yes! Showing up for that very reason and grateful to see your comment😘. Makes it worthwhile ✨
This piece really resonated with me.
Thank you so much for sharing ur comment. Makes me feel less alone with such thoughts n feelings ❤️
I had lots more to say but didn't know where to start! I nodded all the way through this post and it's really helpful to see someone else have these experiences.
I'm 51 and still figuring out myself and what to do in life but have come a long way since I left a stressful job (which led me to burnout) and could make time to work on myself and my thinking.
Oh Susanne. These toxic jobs really sap u out leaving a shell of a person. Thanks for sharing ur journey . We are all in this together. Wiping each others tears and putting a smile on each others face❤️
In Anam Cara, John O’Donohue writes that each person carries an “infinite longing,” an “empty space” within, but this space is not a flaw.
It is not meant to be filled with possessions, achievements, or even other people.
It exists so that the mystery of being can move through us, so that we remain open to wonder, connection, and spirit.
Sometimes the tension and restlessness we feel isn’t a problem to solve, but an invitation to listen to that deep space inside, the part of us that was never broken, never lost, just waiting to be honored.
Wishing you lightness and trust on your journey.
Oh wow! Thank you Jose for sharing your wisdom. I feel like I know it but at times going through it is challenging in the moment.
The more it happens, the more I am realising that it’s something on the inside that will be the answer. But it takes me a while to realise it and stay in the realisation.
We misinterpret that longing, that drive, for something wrong or missing.
We think we are looking for fulfillment, but the reality is that we are looking for the understanding that we are fulfilled.
To me, going deeper in my relationship with the concept of time helps a lot.
Wonderful article, Urmila. I think anyone who is active on social media falls into the comparison trap at some point. I think it’s because you know your ENTIRE story, but due to social media, you only see everyone else’s highlights. If all you see is the highlights (and even those can be easily faked) then it’s easy to feel like you aren’t measuring up.
The thing is, writing posts like this makes you far more accessible. I suspect almost all of those ‘highlight’ posts bragging about the latest life accomplishment won’t get a tenth of the engagement this post of yours gets.
Because you are being real, and we are drawn to what’s real in this world. Thanks for sharing, my friend!
Definitely! There are always two sides to a coin. But there is very less representation of curiosity of purpose from people in their late 30s n later. And those who talk of it are so depressing 😅. I agree, real over reel any day! As always grateful for your engagement.
Ahhhh, very resonant Urmila! I can really relate to not being bound by 'traditional' career paths; my entire career has been one massive zigzag!
There's an article I wrote ages ago over on LinkedIn (that I really should re-publish on Substack) in which I reflect on the idea of 'finding purpose', especially as 'purpose' is something that's talked about so much these days. That one 'thing' we're all supposed to do.
But in my reflection, I came to this realisation: The operative word is FINDING. Once I've found a purpose, that doesn't mean I stop. It's just the right thing for where I am at the time. But it's the very act of continuing to be in a state of 'finding' that helps me grow and evolve as a person.
However, the shadow side of that is the very real possibility that we could get lost too. This is something I'm planning on publishing in my next article, so would love to get your thoughts when it's out!
Amazing! I know I did the right thing when I hit that subscribe button for your publication. I have gone through so many waves on this topic that I can’t wait to read what you post next on it!
On a different note, writing on LinkedIn, what’s been your personal experience. I despise that platform with every cell of my body but my growth mindset is ready to double take and open to your experience and perspective on it!
Mmm, it's better than X but worse than Substack, is where I would put it, especially for quality content. However, a couple of things:
1) LinkedIn articles suuuuuck in terms of reach. They have just historically not performed well for me, like at all. I only publish an article there on rare occasions for visibility purposes... but they don't get far at all.
2) So my LinkedIn heuristic is basically to think of it as Substack Notes. However, there are a bunch of nuances. I tend to find 2 types of posts 'do well':
- The usual 'controversial hot takes and mic drops' that seem to attract generic replies
- Carousels or heavily detailed pictures (because the algorithm appears to reward 'dwell time' and how long someone spends looking at your post)
- Or the 'secret' 3rd type of post which is people who use engagement pods to turbocharge engagement
- Or of course, you can do the same thing that some writers on Substack do, which is write about how to grow on LinkedIn 🥴
3) Like Substack, you also have to 'meaningfully engage' to be 'rewarded' by the algorithm
BUT... it is still a much larger audience than Substack, and it is centred around helping you build a personal brand these days. I have people who do reach out to me and - without having liked or commented on my posts - all say that they 'see me' all over their LinkedIn, so I guess that's a good thing?
Hope that helps!
Wow! Thank you so much for detailing it out. Impressed with how well you can analyse social media platforms in general. Guess I asked the right guy for it.
Controversial stuff would do well anyway but my personal ick are those ‘how to growwwwwwww’ ones. I have seen so much of it that I want to stay stunted💀.
LinkedIn for me is a post and ghost platform but so was Substack a few weeks back until I found like minded people here.
It is a I scratch ur back n you scratch mine world definitely which depletes the word engagement to a ping pong match.
Of course ! Any recognition is good recognition! Thanks for sharing this✨
Haha, I'm by no means an expert. But yeah, I am continuing to explore and experiment. I really do not want to be a 'cringe-fluencer' but I equally understand why it works. So the challenge is always that balance of being authentic... whilst also understanding why people (including us) might be drawn to particular posts.
But meaningful engagement is still for sure a really important strategy. Not commenting for the sake of commenting, but to genuinely engage. It's how I connected with people like Neela and Mack Collier.
On a related note, as you mentioned social media in your article, I thought you might also appreciate this older article I shared here on Substack where I reflected on a similar sentiment: https://curiositymindset.substack.com/p/empty-calories-of-information
When I say like minded people I am talking about Frey, Mack, Neela , that’s the order in which I met them and I am glad I did. That’s what’s made me stick to Substack recently. Balance is key and challenging for sure.
Thanks for sharing, clicking on it as we chat!
Very well written, Candid and relatable.
As I think, there are so many of us in different situations and paths and in their point in lives that it’s very difficult to generalize life situations but I am sure that most of us relate to your article in one way or the other or have been in similar situations at some point. What makes it a good read is your candid point of view and how you are dealing with it. I’m sure some would even find it inspiring or take a lesson out of it.
Keep sharing.. you never know how or in what ways it’s helping your readers.
Thank you being there in all stages of life and writing and everything in between. Yes! Showing up for that very reason and grateful to see your comment😘. Makes it worthwhile ✨
Just as you seem to be addicted to stress …. My secret … self sabotage … figured out now
Oh! Interesting, do share if you feel comfortable about it.
Brutally honest , captivating and so relatable
Means so much coming from you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hugs:)